At the moment, I’m writing two books

One book to be published, later this year.

One book to be published at a later time.

Fantasy and small talk

The latter book is a fantasy book that has all the juicy fantasy elements of shape-shifting, magic and science mixed together into a thrilling book about coming into your abilities in a world who doesn’t really understand you. At the moment I’m writing this book for my own pleasure of writing. I’m learning a lot about my own writing as I build this trilogy before I’ve published the first novel.

The one that is to be published later this year is a book about small talk. It also contains tools and tricks for you to build your confidence. You see, I’ve found where the strength in my own confidence lies, when I over a period, noticed the changes in me as I changed my “greatest hits words” into words that resonated more strongly with me. 

It’s so easy to listen to others who inspire you. Someone you find eloquent, forgetting in the process to check in with yourself if these words align with your own values and desires. You appreciate someone’s way of being and their way of communicating. How their audience is inspired by them. Still, their way of being and how they express themselves somehow feels off to you. Like a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t belong. 

Words aligned with my core

These inspiring people aligned with a part of you, but not necessarily the core of you. Where your values and desires lie and when your words align with the core of you; having conversations is effortless. This book, Modern Small Talk, comprises tools and tricks for you to find your confidence in any small talk situation and shows you how to find what resonates with you.

The words I now choose give me confidence. Not necessarily positive words, but, more to the point, words that are true. To me and who I am to the core of my being. Expressing who I am with the words that describe my values and my desires calms me.

Discovering my values

I hadn’t used the right words. I didn’t know how to get into the mindset of finding them, either. Or so I thought. But, when I purposefully looked back a few weeks, I noticed a few values that stood out to me.

Values like being courteous, even though you don’t have to. Like when you’re driving on a local road and the car coming towards you has a row of parked cars on their side and, by law, they’re required to pull into an opening so you can pass. Even though they did what they were supposed to do, you thank them with a wave or a nod as you pass. 

You’re thanking them for choosing to not be the asshole. You know, the one that rather pushes through because their car is so small, or they’re a super experienced taxi driver in full control, so if you just drive your car close into the hedge (never mind the scratches you’ll get on the door because they have no desire to stop) they can squeeze through. 

Higher quality of life

These values extend further into my life. If I find an opportunity to thank someone, I’ll do it. With a smile that extends to my eyes and a nod to the person. It makes me feel good to be the one who says thank you (and mean it) and the receiver didn’t expect me to say anything so for them, it’s a bonus.

Values like spending a few minutes ensuring the shorter conversations, like small talk, are a contribution to both my life and the other party/parties. Why? I’ve chosen to live a higher quality life. 

Life is not something I just have to do. Something to get done. 

Life is what I get to do. It’s my design. No-one else has the authority to shape it in any way. However, I can choose to listen. To be inspired by them. To find inspiration in me by something they do or say.

People wonder why they’re so stressed out and never feel they have any time to their own. Well, then I have to ask you: what have you done for you lately? Yes, this was a play on one of my favourite artists, Janet Jacksons song “What Have You Done For Me Lately” and now, just as I did then, I sing the song to myself. 

It’s all about finding the mindset that is yours. Your values. How you choose to live. When you respect your desires in life and what quality you choose to spend time on building in your life, people will respect you. 

PS

When I’m out driving, most people wave back and about half gives me a thank you-wave when I’ve made space for them.

It’s these little things that you choose to do. Not because you have to do them. But, they’re life altering. In the long run.

Are you in? For the long run?

Your life, I mean. Are you ready to start shaping your life into something you enjoy not just on the weekends?

Then, you are most welcome to the conversation. On how to design your higher quality of life by starting to explore modern small talk.

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